Ah, Christmas in L.A. Summer sunshine, 80 degree weather, pool parties decorated with Christmas trees … expecting the stereotypical winter wonderland is like looking for meaning in a Jim Carey movie; even though you know you won’t find it, you foolishly find yourself expecting it to happen.
Aiden had decided to go back to the Midwest to see family. Jack was spending the holiday with some friends, while I had committed to head to San Diego to visit family members whom I hadn’t seen in a while.
It had been a month since Aiden and I had gone on our 11/11 date. He had set up a special evening on November 11th (11/11) because of our special time, where we had a really nice dinner and spent quality time together, enjoying each other’s company in a blissfully happy way that seemed too good to be true. It was perfect.
However, in the following weeks, things had become a bit distant between Aiden and I. We weren’t spending as much time together, and the less I saw of him, the more I missed him. After things with Jack didn’t turn out the way I anticipated or wanted, I had my guard up about meeting new people. Even though Aiden was the perfect person to throw myself into because of how genuine and supportive he was, I was reticent to dive in full-force because I was scared; I didn’t want a repeat situation of what Jack and I had. I didn’t want to admit it, but deep down I knew it was taking a toll on my relationship with Aiden.
However, the distance from Aiden gave me the time I needed to think. And the more I thought, the more I realized I was really starting to like him on an even deeper level than I had before. Even if I wasn’t one hundred percent to give give all of myself to him because of this innate fear inside of me, I knew that losing him would be even worse. I knew I had to get him back.