The BDSM community is a fascinating one with its own interesting and intricate rules for fun and pleasure. In this video with Davey Wavy, in partnership with Himeros.TV, we meet Jeremy Feist who is a BDSM sex educator from Toronto. I think most people are under the impression that BDSM is violent, without reason and is all about hurting the other person. However, Jeremy helps educate us in the real ways to appropriately and respectfully be intimate while spanking your sub bottom.

Consent is the first thing you need to understand because you never want to surprise the other person with what Feist calls “impact play.” You need to use a measured amount of pain — just enough to get his body running with adrenaline and endorphins, which heighten the sexual experience.

Another tip is to use a rhythm when spanking so that the other person knows the level of intensity as well as when the next spank is coming. The video then goes into the aspects of ‘hardware’ and what else you can use to spank with, all while keeping the comfort and safety of the sub bottom in mind. This really brought to light some facts about impact play that I never knew and shows that BDSM is not just sexual abuse but really something that can be sexually pleasurable for people who would like to participate in it.

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